I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
