i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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