Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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