dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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