you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
