As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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