And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
