You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
