she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
