My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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