Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
