It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
