I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
