Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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