haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My pussy is not your playground.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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