I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
