Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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