My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
