Porn is love you can see.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
