oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
