I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
