im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
