My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
