Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
