I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
