Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do vagina's smell?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
