I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
