I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
