he wants to bone in the snuggie
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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