Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
