Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
