brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
