I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
