actually, I'm a sock model
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
