sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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