shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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