The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
