How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
