wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
