So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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