so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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