Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
