I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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