Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
