I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
