And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
