so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
