This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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