the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
