Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
