All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
