Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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