I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
