Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
