I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
