Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
